There is SOME Truth in This

Mostly - Women WAY Overvalue What They Bring to a Relationship

ANY half-way attractive woman can get a high level man’s attention.

But, generally, only for one or two nights.

TBH, MOST of them will not recognize you when they sober up.

The guy to aim your charms at is the guy who is maybe a step up from you in attractiveness, making close to what you make (or a little more), and who doesn’t throw all his cash on cars, clothes, and a fancy address. He should be a little frugal, or willing to change. He should NOT be the guy who knows everyone - that’s a Playa!

Check out a group of men (discreetly). Don’t aim for the guy bouncing around, chatting up women, life of the party. Don’t aim for the guy glued to his phone.

Look for the guy who seems to be sociable, but not over the top. If he is sitting at the table alone, consider walking up and asking, “Do you mind if I sit here for a while?”

Chances are, he will agree.

DO NOT FLIRT.

Instead, talk to him like a friend. Ask what brought him here. Listen to his answer.

Ask what he likes doing in his free time - he may have some fascinating stories about that. Offer your story - but keep it light, as is appropriate for a first meeting.

Don’t sleep with him, even if you feel like it.

Practice this over the next few weeks. If you run into one of your acquaintances, smile and greet them. Introduce them to people you are with.

Now, are you IMMEDIATELY finding the man of your dreams?

No.

What you are learning is how to make friends, build a social circle, and otherwise establish yourself as approachable.

If one of your new friends asks you out, and you like them, accept. Keep it light - no sex - until you have reached the point where you feel this is considerably more that a 1-night stand. That would be the point where you know his last name, where he works (and have met for lunch near that place, and met some of his co-workers).

This is a slow process. Attempts to speed it up will be counter-productive.

Look at the qualities both men and women value. The first 5 on the list are almost identical (slight differences in ranking).

Keep in mind these are qualities looked for in a MATE, not a lover. They are qualities that hold up for the long haul.

13 is Even-tempered for men. I have a strong suspicion that many men have HAD IT with temperamental overly-emotional women. So, try NOT playing The Diva. Consider saving the hysterical sobbing for your girlfriends.

15 is interesting - men value practicality, women value generosity. Have some conversations about money - how to spend it AND how to save it. Would you consider buying a ‘starter’ house - less expensive and perhaps smaller than you will need later with a family? What are you, and him, willing to sacrifice in your daily/weekly spending to make your financial dreams come true?

Are you willing to have a smaller, less expensive wedding to conserve your House Savings?

Are you willing to take on a part-time job to reduce your school debt?

Are you willing to downsize your car dreams from Expensive and Flashy to Practical and Reliable? Don’t forget, that expensive car is ALSO more expensive to repair. Can you both agree to plan on owning (NOT leasing) a car for 8-10 years before replacing it? I did. It saved me a ton on not having car payments (I always took a loan for 4 years or less), and the insurance on an older car was a LOT less.

Make a list of inexpensive gifts he might give you - a birthday barbeque in the backyard, a day at the zoo or a nearby park, and evening in with YOUR favorite movie and popcorn. Generosity also includes giving TIME to each other, not money.

But, what do I know? I’ve only been married for 51 years to the same man.