Life Choices & the Consequences of Them

Not What You Might Think

I saw this today, and thought of a friend of mine.

Obviously, a 6 year old kid wouldn’t be expected to know that. Their cluelessness is excused, because they haven’t had the benefit of experiences - what I call “Life Lessons”.

That indulgent response is harder to give when the person is a presumed adult. That is, over 21 - theses days, we might extend that to 25 - and legally permitted to make potentially life-changing decisions, including:

• To enter into a contract (which would also include marriage contracts)

• To join a military (another type of contract)

• To engage in activities that might result in a pregnancy/child

• To drink alcohol or use other intoxicating substances

• To get a tattoo/piercing

• To move into an apartment/buy a house that is at the upper limit of what that person can afford

• To engage in criminal or unethical behavior

• To take on debt, whether for a car, college, or credit cards

  • And, to spend recklessly with that money

That’s not all of the possibilities, but those are the main ones that will affect most of us.

Some, even at a very young age, do well with that freedom to make decisions. Whether by nature that person is frugal and prudent, or they have been taught by family members - either those who set a good example, or even those that, by their VERY poor choices, were living BAD examples, many will learn these Life Lessons.

What about the rest?

Many of them will endlessly complain about the Unfairness of Life. Tell you earnestly that their choices were the ONLY thing that a reasonable person could do, and that any poor outcome was either random bad luck, or someone else’s fault.

We see that in many people today. It’s not a new thing, I remember so-called adults in my childhood who whined in very similar ways.

Most people, belatedly or not, outgrow it. As the Bible puts it,

That’s the plan for us. Both God’s plan, and the plan of mature parents, who ignore the “I HATE you!” and, “That’s not FAIR!” of not-quite-adults who are resisting the last lessons before they are adults.

And, for most of us, we do make those changes, take responsibility, and grow the **** up.

But, today, more than ever, it’s not just the occasional indulgent parents that lead to these Eternal Children.

It’s the government, paid for by the unwilling taxpayer, and mandated by the “Free Money” activists, who use that seemingly unending cash flow to Fundamentally Change America.

Unfortunately, that Change was NOT for the better.

And, today, we are surrounded by Peter Pans, who - seemingly - will NEVER grow up.

So, we, the Adults in the Room, pay for their feckless sexual lives that result in disease, damaged lives, children that those ‘birthing’ the kid have NO way of paying for, and crime - much of it fueled by drugs/alcohol/vicious natures.

But, that is never enough. They want the same things that the Working Classes/Middle Classes have, without having to make the personal sacrifices that those more prudent people make.

One major difference between the Woke and Feckless and the Normals is that, generally, the W&F either don’t marry, just cohabit, or marry people who clearly telegraph their unsuitability for the position.

When, after a tempestuous interval, the W&F agree with the Rest of Us that being with that person was NOT a good idea, we are given the pleasure of hearing ALL about the deficiencies of that person, and how any problems had NOTHING to do with the W&F.

And, after some undetermined time period, repeat the same D*** Dumb Actions that led to the 1st Sturm & Drang.

Over and over. Forever. At no point resulting in a better outcome.

The truly Un-Blessed Children are those that have a front row seat during the Chaos. And, sad to say, often don’t learn from their family’s mistakes.

What is a society to do?

Apparently, NOT what our government (Federal, at this point, and some of the Woker States) is doing. They are bailing people out of the holes they are in, without requiring them to make serious changes. Changes such as:

• Getting, and KEEPING, a full-time minimum-wage job - or several jobs totaling at least 40 hours a week (the overwhelming majority of the W&F are either without stable employment, or are coasting on government handouts and occasional work).

• Getting up in the morning in time to get their kids fed and off to school, get to a job, or be ACTIVELY looking for work - EVERY DAY. Perhaps someone could invent an app that sends a very LOUD sound to their phone, and must be replied to (voice AND random code) within ten minutes. Failure to do so terminates ANY assistance they have been given, which must be reapplied for, in person, at 8 am the next day. The second time it happens, they lose any assistance for 30 days. The third time, 1 year.

• Drug busts result in MANDATORY jail to detox (that would be an excellent use of the private prisons). Follow the three strikes rule for anyone engaging in crimes. After 1 arrest and release, any further crime within the next year automatically denies bail. We may not be able to keep them sober, but we can keep them off the streets.

• Get rid of a lot of the crimes. Driving without a license? Failure to pay child support? A lot of the things that land people in jail could better be dealt with by civil or community courts. Vandalism by juveniles - put them under sentence of cleaning up and working to pay for the acts (once they do, and after a time to make sure they have learned their lesson, expunge the record).

  BTW, the perp has to pay out of their WORK - parents cannot be involved in any way. If the parents try to game the system, THEY have to serve the sentence.

• The new Supreme Court decision that takes away the power of the administrative state to try people is a real blessing. There are several recent decisions that may de-fang the Nanny State.

Now, as to my friend?

She is still of the belief that the reason I’m doing better financially is because I’m married and have two incomes. Those two incomes (which really only fully kicked in after 2004 - before that, I was generally working part-time, or going to school) had to stretch to feed, house, and clothe 5 people. She supports ONE.

Nice person, but still looking for an explanation for the outcomes of her decisions, that does NOT involve looking into a mirror. I love her, but find her to be a very unhappy person. It’s a shame. When I met her, she had so many advantages - smart, funny, truly beautiful, and popular. She grew up in a home with two parents, more income than my family, and access to a car when she wanted it. After graduation, she had no difficulty finding good jobs. Over time, our paths diverged - I married and had 3 children, and, for a time, was truly broke as hell.

Some of her issues were related to people she was associating with. They smoked pot, were financially on the edge, and many of the men were unreliable and not worth the bullet to take them out. That was still her personal choice. It didn’t happen by accident.

My husband and worked, watched what we spent our money on, and - eventually - crawled out of the hole we had dug for ourselves. We still were affected by financial setbacks, but never again on the verge of poverty.

Part of that change involved accepting responsibility for our previous actions, and resolving to do things differently after. Now, that is no guarantee of success; a small part of that is luck. But, it increases the odds of not winding up broke, alone, and miserable.